


I'm Here

by Onehugefangirl



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Bram is such a good boyfriend, But I was dealing with an anxiety attack and it happened, Comforting Bram, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I promise I don't normally write this, I'm Sorry, M/M, This is my first fic and I'm hurting my boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 19:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15056612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onehugefangirl/pseuds/Onehugefangirl
Summary: Simon's family was out of town, it was the middle of summer, and Bram was coming over in 10 minutes. Everything was supposed to be great, and then he felt the spike of fear run through his body. Why does anxiety have to ruin everything?





	I'm Here

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, hello! If you actually clicked on this I thank you dearly. I've never actually written fanfiction and published it for the simple fact of I don't think I can write at all, but here this goes. I love the SVTHSA fandom and I felt it was time to give back. Thanks and I hope you enjoy!

It starts with a spike of fear that runs through your whole body.

For once in his life, Simon felt like everything was perfect. He was sitting at his desk, sipping on iced coffee and eating oreos in the middle of summer. Bram had texted him a couple of minutes ago reminding him he’d be over in about 10 minutes and his parents were out of town with Nora on a weekend trip to Savannah. 

As he was raising another oreo to his mouth though, he felt it. The beginning of his anxiety attacks always started with the feeling of panic running through his body. It set his heart at an abnormal and unsteady pace and he knew he only had a couple of minutes before he began to spiral. Setting the cookie down, he quickly stumbled his way down the stairs to unlock the door so Bram could come in when he got there. He looked around at the empty house feeling only dread before making his way back upstairs in a hurry. 

Then you notice the lights get too bright.

Although Simon’s anxiety attacks normally happen at night, this one had decided to come during the middle of the day. When he got back to his room, it all felt like too much. The sun was pouring through his window too much for his liking and his record player was up too much for his comfort. In a swift motion he took his record off and closed the blinds. To him it was still too bright, but he finds his bed to be the most comforting place during these things so he suffers through. The only sounds he can hear are Bieber's paws against the floor in the hall and his ragged breaths.

Suddenly your brain starts to spiral.

All he could do was wait. Wait for Bram to get here and hopefully help him get out of this or wait for his anxiety to really set in; whatever came first. He was sat at the end of his bed with his phone by his side. When he checked the time, it was only a couple minutes past the time Bram was supposed to be here. It was only a couple of minutes, but this could’ve meant anything. 

What if Bram got hurt on the way here and he was injured?  
What is he got beaten up and his phone got taken?  
What if he no longer liked him and wasn’t going to come?  
What is he was delaying on breaking up with him?

They were all things that logic could have debunked, but logic was no longer in the equation. His breathing began to pick up and he couldn’t take a deep breath for anything. He was deep within thought when he finally heard a knock at the door. He couldn’t find it in himself to go downstairs and open the door, hoping Bram would get the gist after a minute or so. As if on cue, he heard the front door open and Bram call out his name. He couldn’t open his mouth to say anything, and even if he did, he didn’t trust himself not to cry out for him. 

Bram took the steps two at a time and reached Simon’s door in no time. Breathing a little heavily, he opened the door slowly and saw Simon sitting on the edge of his bed staring at nothing in particular with glassy eyes. He walked over to his boyfriend slowly, kneeling in front of him on the floor, being careful not to touch him. Bram had been with Simon long enough now that he knew what to do in times like this. He looked up at him with worry and compassion in his eyes, hoping to break Simon out of his trance like state. 

“Hey Si, I’m going to touch you, is that okay?” Bram spoke softly, careful not to scare him, and Simon softened just a little as he nodded his head, eyes now on Bram. He placed his hand on his knee and picked up Simon’s right hand with his free one, rubbing circles in his palm in an effort to bring him back. 

“I don’t know what happened,” Simon said in a rough voice. “I was fine and then. I don’t know.” He was becoming more distraught over the situation as there were tears welling up in his eyes and his his breathing was getting worse. Bram moved from his position in front of Simon and sat next to him on the bed so he could hold Simon better if he ended up crying. All he could do was shush him and remind him he didn’t have to talk if he didn’t want to. 

Then come the tears.

Everything happened quick for Simon. One minute he was looking at Bram who now had his arms wrapped around him, and the next he’s breaking down into a mess of tears and shaking. He had his arms wrapped around Bram’s torso and was leaning into him, having given up on trying to support himself. He felt everything he had in him turn to tears and gave up when Bram held him closer. He rubbed circles on his arm and back, while resting his chin on the top of his head, whispering calming and loving words that Simon would eventually hear once he calmed down some. 

After about ten minutes of letting everything out, he was calm enough to talk again. Bram was still whispering little phrases every couple of seconds making sure Simon knew everything was okay and that he was with someone who loved him. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered in a hoarse voice from crying. The violent shaking and sobbing always leaving him exhausted afterwards.

“You don’t need to apologize, I’m just happy I was here in time,” Bram spoke into his hair, somehow softer than before. He still had a tight grip on Simon, afraid of what would happen if he didn’t want to be let go.  
Simon hummed as a response and moved around a little to get Bram’s grip loosened a bit. He maneuvered himself so he was leaning against Bram’s side, sitting up more and leaning his head on Bram’s shoulder. Bram still had his arm wrapped around Simon’s back and held his hand with the other, continuing to rub circles in his palm just as he had earlier. “I love you, you know that right?” Bram’s voice was still laced with worry as he looked down at their hands that rested on both of their thighs. 

Simon lifted his head from Bram’s shoulder and looked at him while Bram turned to face his boyfriend. His eyes were still red rimmed from crying, but he looked relieved. Simon slowly leaned in and kissed Bram, bringing his other hand to rest on his cheek, rubbing his thumb across his cheek a couple of times. The kiss they shared was slow and ran deep with every emotion they needed to convey that couldn’t. There was worry, appreciation, happiness, and a general tone of understanding. They were breathless when they pulled away, and Simon gave Bram a small smile.

“I know, I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you thought maybe that was decent and have any suggestions for fanfiction you'd like to see, please comment. Thanks again!  
> -May


End file.
